Light Ryuzaki Show
by Shim Brian Akitaka
Summary: L wants to do a show so he forces Light to join him. Watch as these two go through the weirdest chiz.
1. Chapter 1: Missing Chocolate

**Light Ryuzaki Show!**

** Episode 1: Missing Chocolate**

Light: (puts camera on a stand and keeps adjusting it, not knowing it's on record) L I really don't want to do this. It's not my thing

L: Now Light-kun, remember, you call me Ryuzaki when we begin

Light: Um sure thing...(still adjusting camera)

L: Do you not have any experience with cameras? (eats candy and sits)

Light: I have a fine experience with cameras

Ryuk: I would know

Light: (tries not to laugh)

L: If you say so, but please, not to be rude, but could you speed up the process

Light: (sighs and finally gets it) There, a perfect angle

L: Perfect! Now press the record button and we can get this show started!

Light: (Realizes it's already on record) Um...we pretty much already started, Ryuzaki.

L: Well then we'll cut the beginning out, along with this.

Light: (sits next to L) So um what do we do?

L: I suppose I'll do all the talking, you just sit back until it's your turn to talk, Kira

Light: You're on that again?

L: Now let us begin before I don't want to do it anymore.

Light: (sighs) Alright

L: Welcome to the Light Ryuzaki show, where we talk about important matters and go adventures together, facing evil. Being justice and ... Just simply being us if I dare say..

Light: (thinks: What?)

L: We'll begin todays ep-

Mello: (walks in) Hey, do you know where my chocolate is?

L: No. Why would I know where you're chocolate is?

Mello: Um because you know where the sweets are?

L: Well I do know where the sweets are but since it is your chocolate I do not know where YOUR chocolate is. So with that being said I'm going to have to ask you to leave because Light and I are handling an important matter.

Mello: (Looks at the camera and gets closer) An important matter huh? So making a video is what detectives do nowadays? What is this some type of talk show?

Light: I actually didn't really wa-

L: But you did it anyway. And this isn't a talk show, or what detectives do nowadays. This is merely just a simple side activity that Light and I want to do

Light: Stop saying Light and I, I didn't want to do this in the first place

L: Would you rather I say Kira and I? Would that make you feel better?

Light: (sighs) No, that wouldn't make me feel better. Can we just get this over with?

Mello: Not until I find my chocolate! L you're gonna help me find it!

L: Why do I have to help you find it? Ask Near to help you, you see that I am busy.

Mello: I dont't want Near to help me! Can't ya see I'm asking you here and you only?!

L: You are indeed right. (Gets up and puts hands in pockets) We'll keep the show rolling as we look for the missing chocolate

Mello: Yes! This will possibly make your first episode better than what it was gonna be!

Light: So am I th-

L: Yes you're the camerman, Light-kun.

Light: Great...(grabs camera and thinks: Now I have to be the camerman? How long must I suffer!)

Mello: Alright let's go! (Walks out the room and down the steps)

Light and L: (follow behind with Light taping L and Mello going down) Light: So where are we going to start?

L: We're going to start in the kitchen of course. Or should I say the secret place where all the sweets are hidden?

Mello: Where all the goods are!

L: Correct. There is a 5% chance I will find something helpful there.

Light: (Thinks: Which means he knows he'll most-likely find something there. There is no 5% chance)

Mello: Lead the way then! And hurry up with it too, I need my chocolate!

(On the TV as they get down the stairs, with Near sitting in front of it)

Guy on spongebob: CHOCOLATEEEEEEEE!

L: What a convinient time for that episode of spongebob to be playing (Leads the way to the secret stash of sweets)

Near: My favorite episode

Mello: (Clinches hands) Chocolate...

Light: (Following behind. Sighs and thinks: These three are far from normal...oh wait, I already knew that. Where did Ryuk go?)

L: (Puts hand on a scanner and a door opens) The sweets.

Mello: (Runs in and looks around) Yep, chocolate's not in here L.

L: The name's Ryuzaki! (turns to camera)

Light: (Shrugs)

Mello: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting (rolls eyes)

(chocolate floating in the air)

Light: (thinks: OH CRAP! It was all Ryuk!)

L: A floating chocolate bar?

Mello: MY CHOCOLATE!

L: Could this be connected to Kira?

Mello: I don't care what it's connected to! I just want what I came for! CHOCOLATEEE!

L: (snatches the chocolate)

Ryuk: I would like to see you fall Light Yagami

Light: (whispers, moving a bit closer to Ryuk) I expected you would have such a thought at some point. I see where we stand now...Or I already knew where we stood.

Mello: (snatches chocolate from L and runs off)

Near: Case solved I see?

L: Not quite yet. Light-kun? Do you know what was holding the chocolate? I see you weren't phased.

Light: And neither were you.

L: Well I guess we're just both Kira huh?

Light: You must have a lot of pride Ryuzaki

L: I wouldn't call it pride...I just don't like being wrong, and I've never been wrong. I'm definately not starting today either. I am-

Light: Justice right?

L: You know me all to well ...

Light: Game over?

L: Until the next episode citizens.

Light: (Turns camera to him and turns it off with a smirk)


	2. Chapter 2: Unfinished Business

**Light Ryuzaki Show**

**Episode 2: Unfinished business**

L: (in the bathroom facing the camera towards him) Today I'll be tuning into the daily life of Light Yagami. I actually find his life a bit too perfect and it's quite fascinating yet boring. (Walks slowly out bathroom and faces camera to the hallway) Here I go. Right now Light-kun should be in his room. (Walks down the hall slowly and opens Light's door quietly and slowly)

Light: (sitting on the bed not facing the door doing something)

L: Light-kun.

Light: (jumps and turns) Hey! Get OUT! (Throws a pillow at L)

L: (dodges and camera goes out of control) Why? What are you doing Light-kun?

Light: None of your business! Close the door! I'll be right out to start the show!

L: The show has already started and it's all about the daily life of you Light-kun.

Light: Well give me some time to get ready then.

L: Whatever you say Light-kun. (closes door)

Light: (comes out a few minutes later) Now you're going to be doing the show about me the whole day?

L: Just for a few minutes...Or more.

Light: (sighs) I need my space L...

L: Well personal space does not exist in my world.

Light: (mumbles) I can see that..

L: Now calm down Light-kun, it's only for a while.

Light: A while is a very long time in your world isn't it?

L: You're quite right Light-kun

Light: So with that being said this episode is over!

L: Well that's not right!

Light: Now give me the camera Ryuzaki! (Reaches for camera)

L: (pulls it away) No! I want to do this episode how I want!

Light: NO WAY! You're not gonna take a video of my daily life!

L: Yes..I will!

Light: You won't!

(Camera moves around uncontrolably and crashes into the floor staying still)

Light: (him walking up to the camera and then he picks it up) Sorry Ryuzaki. (Smirks at camera and turns it off)


	3. Chapter 3: Unecessary

**Light Ryuzaki Show**

** Episode 3**

Light: (walking down the steps with L behind him)

L: (holding the camera taking a video) So today Light and I wll be going out for some breakfast so I decided to make it an episode!

Light: And he handcuffed us again (holds up wrist handcuffed to L)

L: (whispers) Well my suspicions of you being Kira has rised up again.

Light: (mumbles) I don't even think the suspicions went down.

(Light and L walk out of the building and get into the car. Camera wobbling the whole time until they put their seatbelts on)

L: Alright. Now we wait until we get to the Pancake house!

Light: I really don't feel like being on camera right now L..really.

L: I think Light-kun has got a bit camera shy don't ya think?

Light: No one has gotten camera shy okay? Shouldn't we be looking at an investigation or something?

L: Shouldn't you be killing?

Light: I'm not KIRA!

L: And besides I am investigating.

Light: (Sighs) Investigating me..

L: Exactly so I'm doing my job Kira.

Light: But shouldn't we be back at the building?

L: After I get my coffee from the Pancake House!

Light: All the way to the Pancake House for some coffee Ryuzaki?

L: They make the best coffee Light-kun.

Light: Rightttt..

L: (Faces camera out window) Say...If you were Kira..what would you do to keep the killings going?

Light: I'm not going to answer that question because honestly...I don't know the answer to it.

L: So basically you don't know what you'd do next?

Light: No I do not.

L: So I'm right afterall

Light: What are you talking about?

L: (faces camera towards them) Noticed how I said 'what would you do to keep the killings going?' I never said Kira couldn't kill again. So basically you're saying you know Kira is at a disadvantage because he's being watched or he has too much company.

Light: (sighs and rolls eyes) God Ryuzaki..

L: Light-kun I know you have the same amount of intelligence I have so why do you not use it?

Light: Right now I just need a break. I'm not trying to use it right now thank you very much.

L: Thinking is good for the brain especially when you eat a lot of sweets.

Light: Well that's for you Ryuzaki, not me.

(After L got his coffee from the pancake house)

Light: I really had to go with you just to get this stupid coffee? (gets in the car with L)

L: Well that's quite odd of you Light-kun. You've never been so blunt and you're intelligence is the lowest I've ever seen of you. Ever since we started making these episodes, the killings have went down and your attitude has changed dramatically.

Light: I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep

L: (whispers to camera) Seems like someones a bit frustrated at their failure to keep the killings of the criminals going. See you next time on Light Ryuzaki Show.

Light: Or not because I'll be dead by then.


	4. Chapter 4: Ownership

** Light Ryuzaki Show**

** Episode 4: Ownership**

Light: (In the closet with the camera and the camera light on whispering) So I'm basically making an episode for L, even though I don't like these episodes that he came up with. So today I'm going to put a camera on me and show you how frustrating life is being suspected as Kira. And also I'll hide this camera.

(Next you see L on the camera. Lights hidden camera on his chest somewhere taping everything)

Light: So um what are we doing today?

L: Well we're supposed to be doing another episode today, but I can't find the camera. How odd.

Light: Well you must've misplaced it, I'm sure you'll find it soon and if you don't we'll get a new one. But again, I'm sure you'll find it.

L: Is it that you hid it from me?

Light: No. Even though I really don't like these episodes we do, I wouldn't go as far to hide the camera. I don't hate it that much.

L: Yeah that's right. It's not like you.

Light: So are we going to look for the camera or do something else?

L: We'll look for the camera later. Right now we have other matters to attend to.

Light: Like?

L: You being Kira.

Light: Look...If it makes you happy then...I am Kira.

L: Kira wouldn't say that.

Light: Or he would. You really don't know what Kira would say.

L: You're right Light-kun. I really don't know, but since you say you're Kira...I'll keep you under survelliance until the day I die.

Light: So I won't be sent to jail? (Thinks: This is not what I expected to happen)

L: No...you won't. You'll just be under my watch for your whole life and also you'll have to give up ownership of the Death Note. I'll still have to watch you so you won't get involved with another shinigami again.

Light: WAIT! How'd you know about all of this?!

L: Mello told me and I've been able to see Ryuk without you knowing.

Light: I've been blind this whole time. How could this happen?!

L: I win Light!

Ryuk: I got my wish. I saw you fall.

Light: This was all you Ryuk?! You made L touch the Death Note and you planned this! Why didn't I think of that?!

Ryuk: Give up ownership Light Yagami. It's over now, there's nothing left for you to do because Misa is dead and her notebook is far from here. L has your Death Note so you can't get that back and no one's on your side to get you a Death Note. So give up the ownership.

L: It's sad how Miss Misa died. By you Light-kun. I'm giving you a chance to forget that and continue with your life as a detective. Your intelligence is something rare for people of your age.

Light: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING! I have no other choice to do that but I'll find a way! These episodes wouldn't be good ones without me secretly being Kira!

L: I know, I'm sad to see this end too but it has to be done Light-kun.

Ryuk: Just give it up Light Yagami.

Light: (Camera turns off into static)


	5. Chapter 5: Tricked

**Light Ryuzaki Show**

** Episode 5: Tricked**

Light: (In the closet again with the camera light on) So...I have no Death Note and Ryuk is now against me...Well always was I guess. I still haven't given up ownership yet and I'm about to put on my secret camera again.

Mello: (Opens closet) What are you doing?

Light: (Looks up) Um...Making a documentary?

Mello: (eats chocolate) Can I be in it?

Light: Uh . . . Sure? Just hold the camera and don't tell L or anyone!

Mello: Alright alright!

Light: (gives Mello camera) Got it?

Mello: Yeah I got it I got it! (Steadies camera facing it towards Light)

Light: Alright so I've been keeping the camera hidden from L for a while now and as I said earlier I'm going to put my secret camera on me. (Grabs a button that says "I'm Kira! So what?!")

Mello: (Makes a face) What a nice choice for something to put on your shirt (sarcastic).

Light: I know right. Now I'm going to face L and get my Death Note back.

Mello: Good luck with that.

Light: You know what! You shut up and eat your chocolate! (Stuffs chocolate down Mello's throat)

Mello: AHH!

Light: Now as I was saying! I'm going to get my Death Note back! (Walks out room)

Mello: (follows eating chocolate)

Light: He's going to get angry when he sees I haven't been calling him Ryuzaki.

Mello: Who cares! No one knows he's the real L.

Light: (Face palms) Great job Mello.

Mello: Ohhhhhhhh.

Light: (Peeks in L's room)

L: (Eating sweets reading)

Light: (whispers) Alright, I'm going in.

Mello: (Whispers) Good luck.

(Camera transitions to Light's secret camera)

Mello: (realizes that it isn't even a documentary and it's just the episodes they've been doing) Mother-

Light: (Walks in) L...

L: You know Light-kun I still haven't found my camera.

Light: As I said it'll turn up soon and if not we buy a new one.

L: Yes I remember...I just want to watch the videos we made so far.

Light: Well so do I but we can't soooo-

L: What's the point of this Ligh-kun?

Light: No point, just coming in because I'm bored.

L: Well that's very rare of you.

Light: I know it is...But since I can't be Kira anymore (Shrugs) Why not try to be your real friend?

L: Enemy or not . . . I always considered you my friend.

Light: (Starts feeling a little touchy) Well that's nice to hear...

L: So what's your real reason?

Light: (sighs) I want my Death Note back, but hearing what you just said . . . I might actually consider really returning the friendship.

L: (Eyes widen a bit) Well Light-kun, you won't get your Death Note back and I'm going to force you to give up ownership.

Light: I WON'T GIVE UP OWNERSHIP!

Ryuk: YOU SAID THE MAGIC WORDS!

Light: NO!

L: Main goal was to get you mad enough and it worked.

Ryuk: Goodbye everyone!

L: Thank you for your help Ryuk. Light: NO NO NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! I WANT TO KEEP MY MEMORIES! (said while L was speaking)

Ryuk: No prob' (poof gone)

Light: (eyes widen)

L: Did it work?

Light: Did what work?

L: Oh nothing, I was talking to Mello

Mello: Oh uh here's your camera L I found it.

L: (Mumbles) Or Light-kun hid it.

Mello: (Turns off camera)

**_OH NO! NOW LIGHT HAS NO MEMORY! What will happen next on the Light Ryuzaki Show!_**

**_I do not own these characters nor control them they have their own minds! 0.0_**


	6. Chapter 6: Bonding

**Light Ryuzaki Show**

** Episode 6: Bonding**

L: *walking with the camera* Light-kun?!

Light: *walks up eating teriyaki sushi* Yeah I'm right here, what is it?

L: The show has begun.

Light: Um, right.

L: Alright so todays show is going to be fun!

Light: and how exactly?

L: We're gonna be going out with everyone today!

Light: Everyone as in?

L: *sighs* Everyone as in Mello, Near, you, Matt, and Watari.

Light: Ohhh . . . Right.

L: First we'll be going to Golden Coral!

Light: e_e really? Gold-

Mello: Don't give attitude! I actually like that place!

Near: *twirls hair* It sounds fun.

Light: Is that all we're going to do?

L: No! We're also going to go to the carnival and do lots of other fun things.

Light: Oh great, I'm so excited *sarcasm*

Near: Cheer up, it really isn't that bad.

Light: It isn't but I just really wanted to stay home today.

L: Well this isn't The Magic School bus and you aren't Arnold sooooo . . . You never stay home!

Mello: But that kind of does make him A-

L: ANYWAY! Let's go! Watari is waiting in the car!

*All get in the car and drive to Golden Coral and gets their drinks and the table*

Matt: *walks up to the table playing the PSP*

Mello: There he is!

Matt: Uh yeah, 'sup.

Near: What a nice greeting *sarcasm*

Matt: Nobody asked you ya little dick.

L: e_e that's not very appropriate right now.

Light: THIS isn't appropriate right now *points to Matt trying to kiss Mello*

L: WTH! BUBBLE! BUBBLE!

Light: It just got popped.

Watari: ._. *Thinks: These young ones are trouble. Why do I get myself into these situations?*

Mello: Oh stop it, Matty *pushes Matt away*

Near: They're two children if you ask me. It's a play relationship.

Matt: *sits* Nobody asked you, Near!

Near: I know that, but I spoke my mind so therefore I asked myself.

Matt: ?

Mello: *sighs* I'm going to go get some food.

Light: Yeah, me too.

L: I'll come with you, Light-kun.

Watari: .-. *Thinks: Too disturbed to eat atm*

Mello, Light & L: *Get up and gets a plate, then goes around to get food*

Near: Why are you even here, Matt?

Matt: So I could see Mello and eat some food? Why else?

Near: I don't know . . . Maybe to get into Mello's pa-

Watari: OKAY! I have had enough being silent! Please do not talk about this matter in front of me Near! Damn, have some fucking respect!

Near: O_O sorry, Watari.

Matt: XD burn.

*Meanwhile in the food area*

L: I can't wait until the carnival, Light-kun.

Light: Sure you can't. I so cannot wait *more sarcasm*

L: *says calmly* Bitch if you won't chill the fuck out and get over it, then I will lock you up where you belong.

Light: O_O WHAT DID I DO?!

L: ^_^ Be quiet, you're making a scene.

Light: ._. Crazier and crazier every year.

Mello: *says while walking past* Everyone's just having outburst today huh?

Light: *mumbles* Damn right.

Brian: Uh hey, well that's all for this episode!

Bri: This is Brian, my other side. I'm a shim!

Brian: She him. I'll be doing the end of these episodes from now on!

Bri: . And I'll most likely not be here because I'd also most likely be on my guy side.

Brian: Which is me! Alright! Make sure to watch out for more episodes!

Bri: Next episode is! *looks at Brian*

Brian: Next the Death Note cast will be going to the carnival and a little more **yaoi **will be on the episode as well.

Bri: So next episode, beware!


	7. Chapter 7: Ride

Light Ryuzaki Show

Episode 7: Ride.

L: Now that Light-kun has stopped talking and bitching! We can set up groups!

Mello: What?

Matt: Sounds legit.

Near: Sounds field trip-ish.

Watari: *Slowly slides away*

L: Light-kun with me. *Looks around* Wtf did Watari go?

Matt: Nigga slid away-

Light: From your crazy asses.

L: XD stop bitchin' *punches Light's arm

Light: Da hell!

Mello: So does that mean . . .

L: It means, you, Near, and Matt will be together through this whole time!

Matt: Cool.

Mello: NO!

Near: -.-

L: Now to the ferris wheel!

**A few minutes later . . .**

Light: FERRIS WHEELS ARE A SAFETY HAZZARD! *getting dragged into ferris wheel car by L*

L: STOP BITCHIN'!

Light: -.- *folds arms

L: *Sits Light down and sits across* Now chillio phillio.

Light: e_e da fuck?

L: Something I came up with (Literally)

Light: Okayyyyyyy . . .

L: This is fun!

Light: This is boring!

L: XD CHILL THE FUCK OUT!

Light: O_O

L: *^* enjoy it for me! 'Kay?

Light: . Uh sure?

L: Good!

**Meanwhile . . .**

Matt: I ALREADY TOLD YOU! NO!

Mello: *holding up sexy outfit* COME ONNN!

Matt: NO! AND WTH IS THIS DOING AT A CARNIVAL ANYWAY!

Near: This needs to be censored.

Random Child: *Holds up dildo* Look mommy, this is what was in the bathroom!

Random Mom: PUT THAT DOWN!

Mello: O_O Yeah . . . Lets just gooooo.

Matt: *already walking out*

Near: *following behind*

Mello: EY! *runs to catch up

**Meanwhile . . . AGAIN!**

Light: O_O it stopped!

L: Calm down, that's what it does! Did you not know?

Light: _ Of course I knew . . .

L: -_- right . . .

Light: *stares at L*

L: What?

Light: Oh n-nothing, you just look different.

L: Oh! All I did was move my "bangs" to the other side.

Light: Oh uh yeah, that must be it!

L: XD You sure that's all that you saw?

Light: O_O HUH?!

L: You seem nervous, Light-kun.

Light: *Thinks: Wth is wrong with the ferris wheel?!* I'm not nervous. Well, I'm nervous about this ride. It may have broke down.

L: I doubt it. If it is broke down though, we'd be okay!

Light: Right . . .

L: *rubs Light's hair*

Light: Ey! Don't try to make my hair look like yours!

L: O_O You'd actually look nice with hair like mine.

Light: NO I WOULDN'T!

L: *takes a moment to visualize* ._. yeah nvm, you're best as is.

Light: Uh, yeah.

Brian: NOW WASN'T THAT NICE!

Snow: -.- When's the yaoi action gonna come.

Brian: . Sometimes it will be detailed and sometimes it will not be.

Snow: O.O wait! It'll be detailed!

Brian: MOVINNNGG ONNNN!


	8. Chapter 8: Da hell

** Light Ryuzaki Show!**

** Episode 8**

**Brian: ._. Let me get this straight. It's me and Zeko and Fancy Tran High right?**

**Bri: YES NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!**

**Brian: Alright! Snow!**

**Snow: -.- this is another episode of the Light Ryuzaki Show bitches!**

**Brian: LANGUAGE!**

**Snow: XD!**

Light: How long are we gonna be in here?!

L: *Looks out window* Maybe it is broken.

Light: L!

L: It's a possibility!

Light: ._. Mommy?

L: XD you pussy!

Light: SHUT UP! I hate ferris wheels!

L: XD Stopppp bi-

Light: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE COULD BE STUCK IN HERE FOR LIFE! CALL SOMEONE!

L: . We'll be fine.

Light: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!

**Meanwhile . . . **

Mello: ._. I really wa-

Matt: SHUT THE FUCK UP MELLOOOO!

Near: O_O

Mello: ._. Yes, Matty.

Matt: DON'T CALL ME MATTY RIGHT NOW! YOU'VE WASTED MY MONEY I'VE BEEN SAVING ON VIDEO GAMES AND CONDOMS!

Mello: tmi . . . tmi

Near: XD

Matt: *answers phone* Yes?

Mello: Who's that?

Matt: Hey, L. Trapped in the ferris wheel? XD Light's bitchin' again!

Near: ._. shiiiiii

**Meanwhile . . . Again**

L: Yes, so we may be late.

Light: LATE?! WE MAY END UP DEAD!

L: And Light's overreacting.

Light: BITCH MY LIFE IS ON THE FUCKIN' LINE! *looks out window*

Man on speaker thing: I'M SORRY PASSENGERS, THERE HAS BEEN AN ERROR ON THE FERRIS WHEEL!

Light: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA BE EATEN ALIVE!

L: *sighs and hangs up* Please, Light-kun, calm your tits.

Light: I DON'T HAVE ANY!

L: .-. then those must be pecs.

Light: . DON'T LOOK AT MY CHEST!

L: .-. you're a guy!

Light: AND?! IT'S CALLED SEXUAL HARRASMENT AND YOU'RE DOING IT!

**Two hours later . . . **

L: *yawns* God . . .

Light: It's been two hours!

L: XD wanna make out!

Light: BITCH! I AIN'T GAY!

L: -.- you sure?

Light: O_O

L: XD got youuuuuuu

Light: fuck you!

L: Well anyway, I was serious.

Light: -.- well no.

L: Too bad! *kisses Light

Light: MMMMMM!

**Meanwhile . . .**

*Mello, Matt, and Near looking up at the ferris wheel*

Matt: IT'S BEEN FOREVER AND WHERE'S WATARI!

Mello: Who knows.

Near: Old man's probably stripping somewhere across the street drunk by now.

Mello: That's too crazy for Watari.

**Meanwhile with Watari . . . **

Watari: *Dancing on a pole swinging his shirt around* WOO! ALL I DO IS WIN WIN WIN!

Crowd: WATARI WATARI WATARI!

**Brian: This was short, but Bri just wanted you all to "wait"**

**Snow: XD enjoy the suspense!**

**Brian: . Oh yes.**


	9. Chapter 9: Le bitchin'

**Light Ryuzaki Show!**

** Episode 9!**

**Brian: Wow, episode 9 already!**

**Snow: Oh yippey!**

**Brian: XD what you've all been waiting for, for the past two hours or so.**

**Snow: -.- she makes these rather quickly.**

**Brian: . Only on the weekends if you've noticed.**

**Snow: -.- miss missy had to get bad grades . . . AGAIN!**

**Brian: ALRIGHT MOVING ON!**

L: So?

Light: WTH L!

L: Hmm, I thought you would like that, Light.

Light: O_O you're calling me LIGHT!

L: .-. is that wrong?

Light: _ it's all the ferris wheel's fault! GET ME OUT!

L: *scratches head* We should be out soon.

Light: They need to hurry!

L: I don't mind waiting.

Light: O_O (thinks: RAPISTTT!)

**Meanwhile . . . **

Mello: Finally, some progress.

Matt: I saw it move!

Near: *twirls hair around finger* More like a jerk . . . Like it's about to fall on us or something.

Mello&Matt: O_O WHAT!

Near: Only a guess.

Mello: YOU COME UP WITH THE MOST BLUNT GUESSES EVER!

Near: I know, it's my nature. I don't yell unless I need to.

Matt: *whispers* I never heard this kid yell before O_O

Mello: *facepalm*

**Meanwhile . . . **

Light: I can't do this! IT'S GONNA EXPLODE!

L: Stop thinking so negative, Light.

Light: STOP CALLING ME LIGHTTTT!

L: Why? Does me calling you Light bother you, Light? I mean it is your name right, Light?

Light: . STOP SAYING IT LIKE THATTTTT!

L: Stop yelling, Light.

Light: DON'T FUCK WITH ME!

L: I'm not fucking with you, Light. Not yet anyways . . .

Light: O_O GET ME OUT! HELP HELP! HELP! *bangs on window*

L: *covers Light's mouth and pulls him back* Calm down, stop all the yelling, it's unecessary. It's not like I'm going to hurt you or anything.

Light: MMMMMM!

L: *holds onto Light* Please calm down, Light. People will think I'm hurting you or some sort if they hear you. Especially in the other cars.

Light: *moves L's hand* THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO BE ALL CALM L! DO YOU HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?!

L: *puts finger in ear and takes it out* Um yes, I hear everything I am saying.

Light: _ I can't . . . *passes out*

L: .-. well, that was . . . Weird.

**Eventually!**

*the ferris wheel moves again and L walks out holding Light bridal style (who's still knocked out)

Mello: Wth happend?!

L: Light passed out on me because he kept panicking and panicking every second. I should've told him to stop bitchin'

Matt: e_e (thinks: Since when did L start cursing?)

Near: I just want to go home.

Matt: AND I WANT TO GET THE MONEY I LOST BACK! SEE YA! *Storms off*

Mello: MATTY!

Matt: *walks faster putting up deuces*

L: -_- alright lets go. Wait, where's Watari?

Watari: *rushes up beside L and straightens clothes* Is it time to leave?

L: Um . . . yes, lets go home.

Near: I know what you did, Watari *whispers*

Watari: *gasp* (thinks: MY REPUTATION IS RUINED!)

L: *ahead of them both holding Light*

**Brian: That was a bit longer, all the other ones have been quite short.**

**Snow: Since it's not really a show show anymore, shouldn't the name be changed.**

**Brian: If the name's changed people won't be able to find it!**

**Snow: If they're following Bri then yes they will! **

**Brian: *^* you mean if they're following Brian.**

**Snow: Shut up you arrogant fool!**

**Brian: Fool? Arrogant? Last time I checked you are the arrogant, stuck up, and conceited one. **

**(In my story that I'm writing now called ****Mother Nature**** this is really Snow's personality)**

**Snow: SHUT UP BRIAN! You're a boring human and I am not!**

**Brian: *gasp* TAKE THAT BACK!**

**Snow: HELLLLLLLL TO THE MOTHAFUCKIN NO!**

**Brian: *tackles snow***

**Bri: I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE HERE! *sighs* Tune in next time..**


	10. Chapter 10: Surgery

**Light Ryuzaki Show!**

**Episode 10!**

**Brian: Wow episode 10!**

**Snow: -.- she took long enough.**

**Bri: GIVE ME SOME TIME!**

**Brian: -.- moving on!**

L: Light still hasn't woken up yet.

Near: How odd.

Mello: I don't care about Light right now!

L: I'm sure you don't.

Light: *on a table*

L: Maybe we should do surgery.

Near: e_e huh?

Mello: WE AIN'T DOCTORS!

L: And neither am I.

Mello: e_e that's what I-

Near: ANYWAY! I'm sure he'll wake up soon.

L: Or not. Exactly why we have to do surgery ***RIPS** off Light's pants*

Near: I don't think this is what we're supposed to do.

Mello: *tilts head to the side* I thought it was small

L: Me too but I guess not.

Near: *facepalm* You two..

Watari: ._. I think you-

L: No Watari we will keep going.

Near: I can't do this *Covers eyes*

Mello: Ya know ya wanna look.

Near: I know ya wanna shut up.

L: Ohhhhhhhh...

Watari: Jesus Christ.

L: Now to proceed with surgery...*pulls Light's underwear all the way off* O_O

Mello: O_O HOLY SHIT!

L: ._. never in my life.

Light: *moves*

Mello: ABORT ABORT! *hides behind the couch

L: *frozen

Light: *wakes up* huh? *all he sees is L standing holding his underwear and Mello peeking from the couch and Watari banging his head against the wall. Near covering his eyes* WHAT IS THIS RAPE?! *gets off the table and snatches underwear, ripping it* AHHHH FUCK!

L: NO IT'S SURGERY!

Mello: IT WAS ALL L'S IDEA!

L: -.-

Light: YOU RAPIST!

L: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE?! I'M NOT A RAPIST!

Light: WHY AM I HALF NAKED THEN?!

L: You weren't waking up so I decided to try surgery.

Light: WHAT!

Mello: See, I tried to stop him but he just wouldn't listen.

L: -.-

Light: OMFG! *runs in room

Near: Well that esculated quickly.

Mello: I **TOLD **you he was gonna wake up.

Near: That was me.

Watari: -.-

L: I should kill you Mello

Mello: XD ya don't have a death note

L: I HAVE A POCKET KNIFE! *takes out pocket knife

Mello: O_O HELP! *runs

Near: You're on your own

L: *chases Mello

**Brian: Short episode right?**

**Bri: It was just a fun little episode I thought would be cool. If ya don't like it then move on.**

**Snow: How rude.**

**Brian: Says the one who is rude herself.**

**Snow: You know what! BRIAN NO ONE ASKED YOU!**

**Brian: XD someone did!**

**Snow: WHO!**

**Brian: MEEEE!**

**Snow: -.- You sir have got to go.**

**Bri: AND YOU TWO SHOULD STFU!**

**Brian/Snow: Fine.**

**Brian: Tune in next time!**


	11. Chapter 11: Water Balloon!

**Light Ryuzaki Show!**

**Episode 11!**

**Snow: If you want to know what happened, followers of The Light Ryuzaki Show, then go check out the episodes of Fancy Tran High, Darlings!**

**Brian: Darlings? You know what I just realized?**

**Snow: What?**

**Brian: It's always me and one other person hosting this sh-**

**Snow: Language, as you once said before!**

**Brian: -.- move on with the show.**

Light: *talking on the phone with his mom*

Near: *turns to the camera Mello is holding* As you see, Light-kun is talking on the phone. The best thi-

Mello: LIGHT! STOP TOUCHING ME LIKE THAT!

Near: Nevermind then...

Light: N-No mom! W-Wait! That's not-! *looks at phone* She hung up on me...

L: Ahhh, you're own mother, Light?

Light: YOU'VE BEEN CALLING ME THAT EVER SINCE THE CARNIVAL INCIDENT!

Watari: it is indeed your name.

Light: SO WHAT?!

Mello: W-

Light: *stuffs chocolate down Mello's throat basically choking him*

L: LIGHT!

Light: -.- What?

Mello: What do you want from me?! *sings*

Watari: Oh dear.

Near: I know what we're gonna do today.

(What's up Phineas and Ferb reference!)

L: I'd like to know.

Mello: Please . . . Do tell. *Not really interested*

Near: Water balloon fight.

L: Ohhhhh!

Light: -.- Really?

Mello: Noooo thank you.

Near: We can get Matt.

Mello: *^* My Matty?

Watari: Oh no.

Light: -.- you serious? I'm not doing this.

L: Yes you are.

Light: No I'm not.

L: Yes you are.

Light: No I'm not.

L: But you are though.

Light: But I'm not though.

L: But you are.

Light: But I'm not.

L: But you're not.

Light: but I am- FUCK!

Near: And thus L wins.

Watari: *Thinks: What a childish argument*

Mello: *^* I'll call Matty! *skips off*

Near: I'll get the balloons ready. *walks off to get balloons*

L: I'll...

Light: .-. um...

Watari: -.-

L: Get our stuff on!

Light: -.- Right ... Boxers or something. *walks upstairs*

L: *follows*

**Bri: Sorry guys this was short. I started this weeks ago and I started continuing it today. I promise I'll get more funny shit going and please check out Fancy Tran High, even spread the news.**

**Brian: This has been a blah blah production.**

**Snow: Enjoy your day submissives!**

**Brian: Ey!**


End file.
